The Elderly
A Collaboration by Ryan Rebne & Will Kurz
What do you think is a citizen’s most important role in a society? What is it that we can use to qualify someone as useful or not? We believe that a “useful” and “contributing” member of society must meet specific criteria: they must be self-sufficient, they must contribute to the economy, and they must be politically aware. When considering these criterion, a few specific demographics, or age ranges to be more specific, stand out as non-beneficial. During, the early years of one’s life (childhood) a person is solely a drain on society, they do not provide anything that helps to maintain a functioning society. The other extreme on the age range is just as much of a drain on society. Elderly people provide nothing of benefit to those around them, they solely deplete their money, emotional well-being, and time. The reason that people put up with children is because of their potential; a child can go on to become a CEO or a doctor. Thus, their period of being a useless non-contributor is something that is collectively endured to ensure a society’s future. However, the elderly have no such potential.
As humans have invented more and more advanced medicines, we have pushed the average age of death beyond what it naturally is. Expensive procedures and medicines keep people alive longer than they should be. Elderly people take medicine up the ying yang just in order to keep breathing for a few more years. Their lives at this point should be over, their bodies are failing and just being kept up by unnatural chemicals that they take and machines that they are attached to. When they are this sickly, both their bodies and minds are failing and they are unable to provide for society. Often, these expensive medical life-lengtheners are not even paid for by these elderly; the expenses fall on their poor, hard working children. And in the case where their children are unable to meet their medical bills, socialist programs steal money from the masses through arbitrary systems like “health care” and “tax.”
While the average retirement age in the United States is 63, it is widely agreed upon throughout the scientific community that an adult’s brain starts to seriously decay much earlier than this age. Even at 50, adults are many decades past their prime, yet it is commonplace for a 50 year old to be prominent in the business world. Society too often lets people with weakening and decaying brains into positions of power and control. The more elderly a person becomes the less capable they are. This leads to them relying on other, younger coworkers and even family members to pull their weight, which only accelerates the aging process in these individuals. The only possible solution to all of the presented problems is to simply get rid of the old, to eradicate them entirely.
In order to make this eradication process as smooth and cost efficient as possible, there would need to be a hard-set age limit at which the elderly are “cut-off”. Given that the average retirement age is 63, the cut-off age would be 65. These extra two years would allow for a bit of time to be spent with the family. Therefore, when the elderly’s last breaths are near, they will have lived a full and happy life. Obviously, at 65, things would need to move quickly and efficiently so as to not waste any unnecessary time or money. Good ole fashioned pig slaughter houses would be transformed and remodeled to accommodate these incompetent people. These would be renamed “funnel centers” and there would be one near every moderately sized city across America. The insides of these centers would be representative of their name, “funnel”. There would be large stainless steel slides all angled towards a massive grinder at the lowest point. We aren’t savages like those people in Ireland, we would not eat the meat like livestock. Instead we would use it for biofuel. This efficient energy source would quickly pay for the remodeling of the slaughter houses and then bring in revenue to the federal government. This money would allow the government to lower taxes and finally start paying off the debt that it has accumulated as a result of the elderly’s leeching over the past centuries.
Ryan! I am so proud that you have lost that laughably painful lack of formality that was present in your last blog. In regards to this blog, the idea is an intriguing one, but you make several contradictions in your arguments. You argue that to be a functioning member of society, a person must be "self sufficient, they must contribute to the economy, and they must be politically aware.". This claim is difficult to substantiate considering, at least in the United States, the elderly are among the wealthiest and most politically active groups. Also, to consider taxes and health care to be "arbitrary" and "socialist" is, at the very least, unreasonable, considering that health care is largely privatized in the United States, and taxes can be agreed upon to be far from arbitrary. Other than these peculiarities, I thought that your posting was understandable and well written.
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